January 20th, 2010
POSTED AT 05:21 AM cant fall asleep. blame it on my cuzin bugging me about goin to orlando next month..i never learn! every morning when i turn off my alarm, i sey to myself "im gonna sleep early tonite" and as soon as i get out of work, i go out, chill and stay out late.. lolz.. fun! my body is so tired it shuts down on me sometimes..tsk tsk..and oh crap its only wed! cant wait for the weekend, nutin planned yet but charles wanna chill and drink, def thinkin about it. soooo, im trying not to text aj. he hasnt text me anyway BUT i knoe for sure when i move in to my new place, he'll be txting me nonstop. i try to remember what i liked about him. his goofiness? lately, hes always frownin at me, always tellin to get serious wit life which is good in a way but still.. he gained a lil bit of weight and he has long hair now, i still like his drobe but he doesnt look the same. im honestly gettin tired.. but im scared.. im very picky and i always feel like since i havent met anybody i like so far to jes leave him on the side. what if i need cuddling? sex? almost there.. lolz.. im still not that type of girl.. i wanna take care of him, i wanna be there for him but at the same time, we both have different lives and i knoe its hard for us to get together.. he lives 2 hours from me and he doesnt have a set schedule, i live with my cuzins and im always out partying. i dont wanna be in a relationship but i wanna be with him. i like being wit him, i like how he makes me feel. hes my addiction and everytime i feel like i can let go, he comes back and draws me back to him. i knoe i gotta play the game but i cant, i dont want to. i pride myself on being honest. i sey what i wanna sey, if not, read my face, its all there.
p.s. should i start bein friendly on tabulas? sometimes i read ppl's blog but i dunt really keep up with them.i think its pretty interesting how some ppl actually meet up.. hhmm.. maybe, let me know..
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